👀 Dink Happens: Amish Pickleball Catches On

From Gold Cup rule rewrites to Amish barn tournaments, sports are anything but boring this week

July 05, 2025

🚦 In This Issue (quick hits)

This week in The Un-Ruley Sportsman, we're dinking through barns, navigating new Concacaf card rules, and wading into a legal battle over paddle noise. Here's what's popping:

  • 👀 Amish barn pickleball? It’s real and riveting.

  • ⚽️ Concacaf tweaks red/yellow card carryovers for 2026 World Cup hosts.

  • 🏊🏼‍♂️ Penn to erase Lia Thomas’ Records

  • 😡 A Boise couple sues over relentless pickleball noise.

  • ⛔️ Oakville debates which sports are street-worthy.

  • 🎾 Wimbledon bathroom rules (yes, really).

  • ⛳️ And a father-son round of golf featuring Jim Nantz’s legendary greeting.

Let’s get into it!

👀 Amish Pickleball Is A Thing

A new viral video reveals what might be the most wholesome sports footage of the year: two Amish couples facing off in a barn pickleball match somewhere in Pennsylvania. Dressed in traditional attire and paddling with precision, it’s the latest sign that pickleball is exploding, even in communities known for tech-free living.

Pickleball among the Amish? Unlikely. The game’s spreading through Amish country like fresh shoofly pie. No electricity? No problem. Judging from the rallies and footwork, they’re ready for the pro circuit.

🎥 Watch it here or check out the X post that kicked it off.

📬 Do You Have A Real Sports Story To Share?

We’d love to hear from you! Share your crazy, hilarious, epic, and wild tales of sports rules and decorum gone wrong with us, and we may highlight them for our newsletter audience. Send your stories here: [email protected]

🟥 CONCACAF Rule Change: Yellow & Red Card Suspensions Shift

Good news for U.S., Mexico, and Canada stars in the Concacaf Gold Cup: you won’t miss a World Cup match for picking up a card.

📍 New Rule: Yellow or red card suspensions in this Gold Cup can be served during September friendlies, not the 2026 World Cup.

⚖️ Why: Because as World Cup hosts, these nations don’t play in qualifiers. Article 69.3 of FIFA's disciplinary code permits friendlies to count toward fulfilling a suspension.

🇨🇦 Canada’s Jacob Shaffelburg, for example, will sit out their Sept. 5 friendly vs. Romania, not the Cup opener.

🏓 ⛳️ 🐎 MAJOR SPORTS EVENTS THIS WEEK

⚽️ Soccer
Concacaf Gold Cup Final, USA vs. Mexico
July 6 | NRG Stadium, Houston

🏎 Auto Racing
Chicago Street Race - Grant Park 165
July 6 | Downtown Chicago

British GP
July 6 | Silverstone Circuit 

🎾 Tennis
Wimbledon — The Championships 2025
June 30 - July 13 | London

⛳ Golf
John Deere Classic
July 3-6 | TPC Deere Run

🔎 RULEY EXPLORES THE RULEBOOK 🔍

🚽 Wimbledon’s Bathroom Break Rule

Wimbledon is steeped in tradition, and that extends all the way to... toilet breaks.

Players can request to leave the court for a bathroom break, but the rules are strict:

  • Limited Breaks: Just one toilet break per match.

  • Set Timing Only: It must occur during a set break, never mid-set.

  • Three Minutes Max: That’s all the time allotted, unless...

  • Clothing Change? You get an extra two minutes (bringing the max to five).

  • Nearest Bathroom Only: No wandering—use the closest available facility.

  • Supervised Relief: A line judge may accompany you to ensure no funny business.

Tennis Now reports that the rule is designed to curb gamesmanship, with some players accused in years past of using the break to ice opponents or reset momentum. Wimbledon is just making sure nature doesn’t mess with the match.

🏀 Oakville Considers Banning Street Sports (Except Two)

In a move that feels like a Netflix reboot of Footloose, Oakville city council may ban on-street sports, except for basketball and ball hockey.

🟢 Allowed: Basketball, Ball Hockey
🔴 Banned: Soccer, Badminton, Cricket, Rollerblading, Pickleball... pretty much everything else

🕓 Time Restrictions:

  • May–Oct: No play from 8 p.m. to 9 a.m.

  • Nov–April: No play from 5 p.m. to 9 a.m.

🏘️ Only local residential streets (non-bus routes) apply. And yes, gear must be removed when not in use.

👨‍💼 Ward 5 Councillor Jeff Knoll summed it up: “Get off the backs of kids.”

🏊‍♀️ Back to the Rulebook: Penn Reverses Course on Transgender Athlete Policy

After years of public debate, legal pressure, and a Title IX investigation, the University of Pennsylvania has made a dramatic reversal: it will no longer allow biological males to compete in women’s sports.

The July 1 announcement followed a resolution agreement with the U.S. Department of Education. As part of the agreement, Penn will:

  • Prohibit transgender athletes from competing in women’s athletic programs,

  • Strip Lia Thomas’ records from the school’s record books,

  • Restore the rightful titles and standings to biological female swimmers,

  • And issue personal apology letters to the athletes impacted during Thomas’ time on the team.

Thomas, a biological male who competed on the Penn men’s swim team for three seasons, made headlines in 2022 after winning the NCAA women’s 500-yard freestyle title, becoming the first openly transgender athlete to win an NCAA Division I championship.

The Department of Education concluded Penn violated Title IX, the landmark 1972 civil rights law that guarantees equal opportunities for women in federally funded education programs, including athletics. The resolution ensures that Penn complies with Executive Order 14168, which reinforces biological definitions in competitive sports.

The message is clear: rules matter, especially when they safeguard fairness. A man winning female trophies is un-ruley. Lia Thomas’ victories never should have stood. Upholding competitive fairness means protecting the integrity of women’s sports.

This ruling restores balance to the field, the pool, and the record books.

🔇 Pickleball Lawsuit: Boise Couple Sues Over Noise

Another chapter in the great American pickleball war: a Boise couple is suing the city, citing years of unbearable noise from nearby courts.

Key complaints:

  • “Relentless and chaotic auditory assault”

  • Alleged harassment by players

  • Auditory hallucinations of pickleball sounds wake them at night

The couple, one of whom is a wheelchair user and works from home, say the noise ruins both indoor and outdoor life. They’ve begged the city for years to act. Now they want courts closed permanently.

Meanwhile, players reportedly climb fences to keep the dink alive.

🌞 Good News: “Hello, Friends” Goes Next Gen

Joe Buck and his son teed off with Jim Nantz and his son for a generational golf outing. This past Wednesday, the foursome featuring Blake Buck (Joe’s son) and “Jame-O” (Nantz’s son Jameson) teed off at El Dorado Golf and Beach Club in Cabo.

But the best part? When the legendary announcer Nantz nails the classic “Hello, friends” intro. We could listen to this forever.

📹 Watch it and feel the joy of being a sports dad who also happens to have one of the best famous voices in the land.